Despite Audi-man’s efforts, we made it home in one piece. And it was good to be back for our final tour gig at the wonderful Grapes in Bath.
Sumptuous Breakfast – Absurd Hill
This morning, after another sumptuous breakfast, delivered to our kitchen ‘lodge’ (shed), we set off – for the final time together this tour – into the hills. The start was pleasant, with friendly gradients on small, traffic-free lanes. Then we came to an absurd hill, which – frankly – defeated us.
Rob had gone on ahead, as his gear ratios mean he can’t slow to my walking-up-walls pace. I assumed he’d ridden this monster but, on meeting at the top, discovered that he too had had to push. And pushing was barely any easier, since our loaded bikes threatened to drag us back down to the bottom, like overgrown dung beetles.
Drawing Breath
Rob had finally found a bit of flat grass on which to draw breath. This was next to a partially-converted barn by some scrubby land. A friendly bloke appeared, who said he was working on the garden next door.
He explained the renovation had been underway for 23 years. During that period, the windows had been blown in by a storm and the owner had spent some time at her/his majesty’s pleasure. What a waste.
Road Closed
Once sufficiently revived, we resumed our ride. The road still climbed but in a far more manageable fashion. Until, at a turning, we were confronted by a ‘road closed’ sign. This being a narrow track that disappeared downhill, we weren’t keen to explore, in case it really was blocked and we’d have to come back up again.
Instead, we found a lane that took us onto a B road, which shadowed our mapped route into Chepstow. What a godsend this turned out to be. We had to climb a little further. But, once on the deserted main road, sailed downhill on smooth tarmac, seemingly for miles. And now we caught glimpses of the Severn Bridge, so knew we’d soon be on flatter terrain.
Traditional Charm
Part way down, we stopped for refreshment at a quirky and beautifully-maintained pub. This had genuine, traditional charm and pretty hanging-baskets of flowers out the front. With the landlady’s permission, we discreetly ate our pre-bought sandwiches. And sampled some delicious home-made cakes from the pub.
From here, we descended a little further, before negotiating our way around Chepstow and onto the bridge. Crossing the Severn is always exhilarating. And knowing that home is within easy reach makes it all the more rewarding. But first we had to pick our way through the villages and low hills north of Bristol.
Perfect Unison
Approaching one such village, we slowed to allow a driver to pass us, coming down a narrow hill ahead. To our left was a parked black Audi, which I’d noted had an occupant but was stationary. Having let the oncoming car through, I accelerated to start the climb. As I did so, the Audi driver decided it would be fine to back out. At speed. He so nearly hit me that both Rob and I yelled the same expletive in perfect unison.
This driver, possibly shocked to realise he’d nearly hit me, joined in the chorus. Then he followed us. When you’ve narrowly avoided being run over, there tends to be a certain amount of adrenalin in your system. Which can trigger the flight or fight response. Given we couldn’t outrun an Audi coupe, the second option now looked like a better bet.
Unfortunate Company
Fortunately, for all concerned, our friend decided to turn off before anything ugly ensued. And he did so with much revving of engine. Bless him. Rob and I – meanwhile – stopped at a community café for a cuppa to soothe our nerves.
Later, as we negotiated the multitude of cycleways along the ring-roads around North Bristol, we encountered this same driver a couple more times. And, both times, he was being a complete dick. We weren’t sure whether this was because he’d seen us. Or whether it was simply because he is a dick. In a black Audi. Sorry if you own such a vehicle but if you do, you’re in unfortunate company.
Familiar Ride
Our GPS devices allowed us to weave our way through various bits of Bristol we’d never otherwise be able to negotiate. Before bringing us safely to the Bristol & Bath railway path. At Warmley, we took a break at the picturesque railway station cafe and used the surprisingly spacious – once you get in – loo (pictured). Next to our table was a placard explaining about a community scheme that provides cycling facilities for disadvantaged children. That’s Bristol for you.
From there, it was a straight-forward and familiar ride back to Bathampton: along the disused railway; past the industrial units; by the riverside; across town; onto the towpath and home. Where we had a few days’ rest before our final gig of the tour. Which was – as last year – at the wonderful Grapes pub on Westgate Street in Bath.
Happily Mingling
This establishment used to be something of a dive. But, the current management, led by the wonderful Ellie, has transformed it into a vibrant space in which people of all ages and persuasions happily mingle. And they host regular music events: from folk sessions to jazz jams to bands of various hue.
We set up in the corner, next to the entrance, as is the custom for a Sunday afternoon. Outside, the sun was shining and, finally, there was a feel of summer in the air. Which made us wonder whether we’d get any audience at all. But this is a well-established, weekly fixture. And the Sunday faithful gradually drifted in – many doing the ‘double’, having been to the Bell for our friends Hodmadoddery’s set earlier that afternoon.
It was great to be playing, once again, at a proper music venue. With an open-minded, appreciative audience. And staff that look after you. These places deserve all our support.
So Long – And Thanks for All the Breakfast
Thanks Ellie and The Grapes, Bath. Thanks Anne and The Whitehall Llandovery. Thanks Michael and Cwrw, Carmarthen. Thanks Adam and Trehale Farm. Thanks Steve and The Cellar Cardigan. Thanks Arnie and all at Shindig. Thanks too to all who hosted us and provided such a wonderful array of cooked breakfasts!
It’s been a hell of a tour. We’ve covered 560 miles; climbed nearly 37,000 feet; had some incredible experiences and met some wonderful people. In fact, people are wonderful. And nearly all simply want to get along and have a good time. If we’ve contributed to that in some small way (and maybe pricked the odd conscience too), then we’ve done our job.
Help Yourself
Please do help yourself to the EP download. Donations are gratefully received but not required: the main thing is for you to hear – and hopefully enjoy – our music.
Thanks for reading. See you next time. x